the passionate texter to his love
Earlier this week a toe-curling text exchange between one would-be Lothario and his unimpressed ex-girlfriend was released into the public domain.
It begins with an appeal for belated ‘rough goodbye sex’, an expression of violent passion that (for some undisclosed reason) must be pencilled in to the busy texter’s diary comfortably in advance and at a very precise time.
It ends with a definitive ‘bye’.
Even after a quick lexical substitution (‘goodbye’ for ‘hello’) presented her with a more tempting offer, it seems that the lady was not to be wooed.
Oh, if only you had studied the love-poems of your literary forefathers, young texter! Who wants ‘pretty fun’ if she can have what ‘makes heaven drowsy with the harmony’? Think about it, now. And when other men promise ‘two hundred [years] to adore each breast’, was a few minutes between 10am and 1pm next Monday ever going to cut the mustard?