Only recently I was still slumped on the couch nursing a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn. No Prince Charming is going to be attracted to that mess no matter how sexy my bed head look. And even when I put on lipstick and a little black dress, my unprocessed grief surrounds me like a stinky pheromone cloud.
Self pleasure is one of life’s greatest gifts. It’s like having a never ending supply of peanut M&M’s in your pocket. How sad that people grow up thinking jacking off to be anything other than a magical moment of calorie-free joy.
Whether you’re high on love or in the dumps from loss, keep reminding yourself that this state is temporary. The real work and reward comes after the highs or lows have past.
“Once divorce carried all the stigma. Now, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.” How about we wrestle with our shame and discover who we are in the aftermath. It could be amazing.
Some say female orgasms are an incentive to have sex for reproduction and bonding, but there’s little support for this, especially given we’re one of the most promiscuous animals on the planet. And because our orgasms are utterly unreliable, if women needed to have an orgasm to reproduce there would be, like, fifteen people in the world.
If one person in a marriage is routinely withholding sex and the other seeks it elsewhere, is only one to blame? Certainly one person is being cheated of a vow of sexual fidelity. But isn’t the other being cheated of sex?
With budgets ever tighter, journalists ever worse paid, real reportage is increasingly squeezed out in favour of reproducing press releases, running safe and easy to produce fluff. A great example of the latter is the survey, and the Daily Star newspaper produced a corker post-Christmas. For apparently the paper, in an EXCLUSIVE poll, has discovered the four words women most love to hear during sex.
Having been raised by a well meaning, psychotherapist mother, I was conditioned from an early age to believe that relationships require work, sometimes quite a lot of it. But when things felt rather shitty with the man I was trying to ‘work on it’ with, I began to question just how much work any relationship should require of us. If I’d considered the net energy gain or loss of the relationship earlier, I might have saved myself a lot of grief.
We browbeat our kids to practice violin and get good grades. Why not get a little more encouraging of their love skills? 'Whether you practice with one person or one hundred, you’ve got to put in the hours' is my mantra.
As a liberal I’m more likely to fantasize about activities involving BDSM, power play, spanking and pleasure in the form of pain. I suppose he’s onto something because I can’t imagine anything more pleasurable right now than crushing Donald Trump's balls with my bare hands and watching him fall at my feet, red faced and begging for mercy.