Erotic Review Magazine

Blue Mondays Blues

by Kate Borcoman / 23rd October 2014

Sensible, hard-working Lucy Green fleetingly meets a handsome stranger on the tube, wielding a picnic basket of all things. As he turns to exit he drops his wallet – which Lucy picks up. Should she hand this over to lost property and continue on her way to work? Or should she try and return it – personally?

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“To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. ” - Don Schrader


And the Winner is…

21st October 2014

We bring you the winner of the 2014 Alternative Miss World competition: flanked by host and founder Andrew Logan (left) and co-host Grayson Perry (right), Miss Zero+,  (Sasha Frolova), looks appropriately overwhelmed by the excitement and emotion of the crowning moment of this colourful event. Congratulations! (click on image to see more photos)

Vogue Land

8th October 2014

No, not that Vogue, Charlotte. Tricity Vogue, Ukelele & Burlesque Queen. Her hot news? She is to host this month's Ukulele Cabaret's Rocktober Horror, where The Rocky Horror Picture Show meets Hard Rock - as if you needed an excuse to get your fishnets and your leathers out. Dressing up box fun aside, it's going to be an exciting one, she tells us, with an international visitation from Portland Oregon blues elder statesman James Clem, plus joyous sounds from The Zoobes, comedy wrongness from Eleanor Morton, and some authentic rock from Teri Reed. Tuesday 14 October: 8pm-11pm Lincoln Lounge, Kings Cross, London Entrance is free, which can't be bad, so see you there?

Cheerless Observations

30th September 2014

The Observer published on Sunday the findings of its 2014 sex survey and the report Jim Mann compiled from the paper’s data makes sobering reading. 16% of all the anonymous respondents (and 21% of some demographics) would have gay sex outlawed and 23% would not consider having sex with someone of a different colour. 37% of all respondents are dissatisfied with their sex lives but conventional catalysts for reigniting the spark are left well alone by the majority. Only 31% of those interviewed described their sex lives as adventurous and over half had never used a sex toy or turned to the delights of erotica. And to top it all off, 61% of respondents believe that it’s possible to maintain a happy romantic relationship without a jot of sex. Given that The Observer only surveyed 1052 people, their findings are best taken with a pinch of salt but that doesn’t mean there’s no truth behind them.  It doesn’t mean that we’re not harbouring too much intolerance and too many inhibitions. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we should get complacent in the under-covers struggle for more satisfying sex.

It's addictive, ye ken…

26th September 2014

  Sandra Dick of the Edinburgh Evening News reports on The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity who have come up with a list of 10 ways to ascertain whether you are addicted to sex or not. The Athens of the North reporter cites another daughter of Auld Reekie, Gail Porter, as a bravely self-outed sex addict. The gorgeous alopecia-sufferer and TV personality Gail recently told The Daily Mail  that she attended a sex addicts group, but that when she came out, “…it’s like, do we go for a burger afterwards – or back to someone’s home?” and consequently felt compelled to join a female-only group. Just as well that Gail and fellow-sufferers didn’t resist the ‘coffee at my place?’ offer and agree to go for a burger. Those burger joints aren’t as innocent as they seem. Take Copenhagen’s raunchiest fast food outlet,  Hot Buns. Here you can order a cock ring with your side of onion rings. This burger-kitchen-cum-sex-shop could set back clinical research into sex addiction by years, because  controversy is now raging at Erotic Towers – which is more addictive: a medium-rare burger with home fries or sex?

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A safe harbour

by Vikram Kolmannskog / 15th October 2014

He says something about how he’s been meditating a lot lately – meditation was an activity we shared, separately – and that we need to talk. “Break,” he says at some point, and something breaks all right. It probably started a while ago, but now it feels like I’m free falling and loosing my breath. He moves out. “The breath is your anchor,” says an annoying, American voice on my mindfulness app. “And a safe harbour you can always return to.” Fuck, I think to myself, I also need somebody, another’s body as harbour. An anchor. A harbour. To be held. A ship. A body. Like all good metaphors it is true bodily and physically, first and last. I start creating a profile on Grindr, but delete it again. I call good friends and family instead. And they hold me, either physically or otherwise through their presence, often both.

Robbie in Midwinter (Dreams from a mountain farmhouse)

by Gin B. / 22nd September 2014

We’re playing I-spy in the dark. You and me, naked, in bed, huddled on a single futon, under deadweight of blankets and quilts, fearful of exposing an inch of skin to the sub-zero pitch-black mid-winter Japanese mountain air, we play I-spy. In the dark. Me first. Eye spy with my little I something in Robbie’s deep psyche … … an ocean. “What kind of an ocean?” An opaque, grey, choppy North Sea kind of ocean, cloudy and uninviting, an ocean of destitute black seaweed and rusting hulks of wrecked tankers, their oily slickness long-forgot under the waves. “What else do you see?” A boat, a wooden raft, no, some floating debris, a man clinging, you clinging, struggling to climb out of the turgid water, no helping hand to pull you up…

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The art of arousal

3rd October 2014

One of the most talked about exhibitions at this year’s Melbourne Fringe Festival, FECK:ART took shape as the area’s emerging artists toiled to answer one question: can art succeed where porn fails: to actually turn us on? Their diverse and dazzling output celebrates ‘beautiful obscenity’ while challenging pornography’s status quo.

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Because She's Got Breasts

by / 5th September 2013

After a few months at Erotic Towers, Tati is leaving her post as editorial assistant to chase boys in the South of France. Parting is such sweet sorrow: let us sweeten it a little more with a charming song about her breasts. Ladies, this one is for you.

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No sex please, I’m prudish

by Ariane Sherine / 21st October 2014

When I was ten years old, my mother sat my brother and I down and told us about sex. “When a man and woman love each other very much and are married,” she began, “the man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina, and that makes a baby.” I frowned. “Did you and Dad do that?” “We don’t talk about that,” my mother replied, visibly uncomfortable. “Do you and Dad still do that?” “Ariane, I’ve said we don’t talk about that!” she snapped (no doubt because, when she was growing up, people really didn’t talk about sex).

Tom's Dicks and Harry's, too

by Erotic Towers Review Team / 16th October 2014

When Wallpaper* graces 13 of its elegant pages with a feature on The Tom of Finland Foundation, you know that this extraordinary artist has finally acquired the Seal of Good Housekeeping: next stop House & Garden?

Interview: Ann-Marlene Henning

by Nusa Bartol-Bibb / 10th October 2014

Sexologist. Neuropsychologist. TV personality. Ann-Marlene Henning is one accomplished woman. She adds a fourth string to her professional bow with the release of her first book, Sex & Lovers: the no-nonsense teen sex guide with a heart. Nusa Bartol-Bibb grabs a slot at the start of the UK book tour to talk porn and sex-positive parenting.

postcards from beyond no.6: pollen count

by Bruce Abrahams / 2nd October 2014

There are or were a few Pacific islanders who had no idea that sexual intercourse produced babies and who therefore enjoyed sex for its own sake. This made life for visiting sailors great fun until they (the sailors) infected everyone with syphilis. But in general, the societies of the world have tended to create systems in which the female’s primary role is to produce (male) children and the male’s job is to keep them safe from other males, much as stags do with hinds. In between the activities necessary to the main tasks of breeding and cooking, the women picked berries and danced to keep the men of their tribe entertained. Men merely killed animals – and each other – and made up epic verse about their deeds to recite when drunk.

Morality Play

by Jamie Maclean / 30th September 2014

“Which was Brooks Newmark’s greater offence?” the Sunday Mirror might have us ask: marital disloyalty by indulging (with apparently misplaced optimism) in some online ‘cheating’ or showing the sort of naivety and lack of worldliness that signally contradicted his job description? It’s hard to say. The first betrays his wedding vows; the second his party’s expectation of him to behave in such a way to show that he was fit for office and that he was taking his work seriously. So far so good: there is a nice moral clarity about all this. But then…

try a little tinderness

by Single Woman Abroad / 25th September 2014

"So basically," explains Phil. "You set up a profile and then men send you pictures of their cocks and if you like what you see you can arrange to meet up and fuck. I've fucked two guys this week and this little cutie is coming round to give me a massage tomorrow - obviously it will end in fellatio." "Wow!" I marvel. It seems incredible to me that by simply posting a photo and professing to like George Michael, Turin Breaks and Châteauneuf-du-Pape* Phil is in contact with all the sexually available men within a 200 mile radius. Imagine if such a thing existed for heterosexuals...

The First Class

by Nusa Bartol-Bibb / 23rd September 2014

From the thrillingly explicit to the oblique, from the heartwarming to the tragic, from the ridiculous to the sublime: fiction's great scenes of sexual initiation come in many guises.But as the existence of the Bad Sex Awards attests, that doesn't make them easy to write. ER takes a look at the authors who've overcome adversity to produce perfect passages on surrendered virginity, inceptive masturbation, and uncharacteristic abstinence.

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Circus of Men

by Nusa Bartol-Bibb / 13th October 2014

I’m not going to beat around the proverbial bush: the latest offering from Black Fire, those masters of twistedly erotic stagecraft, is a disappointment. All the more so because it’s easy for the hopes to soar. Have a Google to yourself and you’ll find Circus of Men billed as ‘London’s newest, most erotic, sexual and dynamic all male show’. Never mind that two of them mean basically the same thing, and one of them makes no value judgement whatsoever, there are four superlatives in there. Four. You don’t expect anything that’s given four superlatives to let you down. And even for those who need a less tenuous basis for their great expectations, Circus of Men was something to look forward to. Fuel Girls, Black Fire’s self-styled Rock’n’Roll dance troupe, give a genuinely stunning, uncomplicatedly sexy show. Why should I have expected Circus of Men to be anything but two hours of sweet titillation?

Making Waves

by Nusa Bartol-Bibb / 8th October 2014

Wave Caps. It’s a roll-off-the-tongue title and the perfect fit for Miguel Cullen’s first collection of poems. A relic from the hip-hop culture Cullen is drawn to springs readily to mind. There are associations to be made with the recurring themes of development, destruction, and rhythm. Soundwaves: as important to Cullen’s poetics, you sense, as lines on a page. And then there’s the duality of the ‘cap’: at once an imposer of limits and a triumphant climax.


by Camilla Cassidy / 6th October 2014

David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow is a satire set in a jaded Hollywood where movies are made, not because they are good or bad, but because they are bankable. The play opens in the office of a newly promoted studio executive, Bobby Gould (played by Richard Schiff of The West Wing fame), who is giving an apocalyptic novel – The Bridge or, Radiation and the Half-Life of Society – a ‘courtesy read’ at the request of his boss, Richard Ross. Charlie Fox (Nigel Lindsay), a struggling producer who has worked with Gould for years, interrupts with good news: he has a script but, more importantly, it comes with a big name actor attached. It’s a sure-fire hit, never mind if it sounds like crap.

Lessons in lust and love

by Nusa Bartol-Bibb / 29th September 2014

They say that sex is an instinctual, experimental thing. They say that kids today know all too much about it. They say, safe in numbers and insecure in their knowledge, a lot of shit. And now They – those clueless and authoritative spokesmen of common knowledge - are being taken on once again. Forty-two years after The Joy of Sex first shook up shagging, Alex Comfort’s revolutionary sex-manual finally has a worthy successor. It’s called Sex & Lovers: A Practical Guide and it is 256 pages of brilliance. Co-written by Danish sexologist Ann-Marlene Henning and Tina Bremer-Olszewski, a German journalist, it is intended, as the blurb proudly tells us ‘ for young people who are just starting out sexually’.

Sharp Angles and Blurred Angels

by Camilla Cassidy / 26th September 2014

Francesca Woodman’s photographs are filled with disappearing women. Their faces are blurred or concealed, they crouch in corners, hide behind loose strips of wallpaper or crumbling masonry. In one, a woman’s outstretched arms are the only part of her in frame and they are camouflaged by rolls of tree bark. These figures merge with their surroundings until they are barely distinguishable from the backdrop. This exhibition sets out to show us how Woodman used the zigzag to vitalise her work. In doing so, it also makes clear how her nude portraits play a crucial part in this aesthetic. Though these figures seem to blend with their backgrounds, they initiate patterns that resonate throughout Woodman’s work.

Making the Ineffable Totally Effable

by Camilla Cassidy / 24th September 2014

Most of us behave differently online than we would ever admit to in real life. What we do on our computers is, within reason, between us and the screen. With the rise and rise of internet dating this unfiltered, unexpurgated version of ourselves has a freer reign to shape the most intimate parts of our lives. Christian Rudder, co-founder of OKCupid, has used raw data created by the site’s 30 million user profiles, alongside terabytes of information from other sites including Facebook and Reddit, to reveal the things we find attractive when we don’t realise we’re being watched. Rudder has used the OKTrends blog, and now his recently published book, Dataclysm, to show us these hidden dynamics of sexual attraction. ‘This isn’t survey data’, he says. This is human behaviour observed in the wild.

Are You A Horrible Person?

by Alexandre Bagot / 3rd September 2014

I stare at the black card in the centre of the table. It reads, 'What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?' I go through the white cards in my hands and chuckle uncomfortably at the awkward combinations I can make. A few are genuinely funny and hardly offensive: 'Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse', 'Erectile dysfunction', or 'Passive-Aggressive post-it notes'. Others are too uncannily near the mark to be funny: 'Hospice care', or 'Dying'. And some are quite honestly awful: 'Battlefield amputations', or 'Dead parents'.

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