Erotic Review Magazine

by Jane Ions / 12th January 2017

Sophie is beside herself with excitement. She sees this as a ‘Strictly’ situation without the dancing, and is desperate for Bill to win. We are both very touched by Sophie’s loyalty and enthusiasm but Bill said to me in bed last night, ‘For god’s sake Sally, try and keep her under wraps’.

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“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best. ” - Woody Allen

Love & Sex

by Jane Ions / 10th January 2017

‘Could you go next door Jen and suss Susan out? If she’s sober and willing, bring her round and she could drive Dan and Baz to find Ben before he commits an offence.’

by Jane Ions / 5th January 2017

She said she knew twenty minutes after meeting her husband that they weren’t on the same wavelength and they had spent the whole of their married life trying to tune into each other and wondering what weird frequency made the other vibrate. But this could be different.

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Reviews

2016 Sexual Freedom Awards

by Bruce Abrahams / 20th November 2016

Originally titled The Erotic Oscars until the Hollywood proprietors of the eponymous statue objected and forced a change to The Erotic Awards, this annual recognition of libidinous creative talent is now in its twenty second year. It was conceived by the extraordinary Dr ‘Tuppy’ Owens, ‘onlie begetter’ of The Sex Maniac’s Diary and The Sex Maniac’s Ball. Both productions fell victim to political correctness (the well-researched and informative diary died), although the Ball survived for over twenty five years including a name change to Night of the Senses.

Only the Visible Can Vanish

by Edward Field / 4th November 2016

Only the Visible Can Vanish, Anna Maconochie’s debut collection of short fiction, crackles with an electric energy. It’s extremely present and the humour is trenchant. Eleven stories, dealing with big city themes: urban alienation to the point of wanting to vanish; internet romances; pressure-cooker media jobs; trying to connect with the opposite sex; encounters that could succeed and bloom into fuller, more permanent relationships only to be destroyed by their creaky foundations.

Playing FTSE

by Tara Smyth / 25th October 2016

This is the somewhat predictable story of Melanie, a young woman working hard to gain credits in the banking world and doing her best to be taken seriously for her brain, rather than her body: a seemingly simple, but obviously unrealistic, goal.

Belinda Blinked: 1

by Jessica Slane / 18th October 2016

Here at Erotic Review we are nothing if not champions of good sex: the expression of it, the reading of it, the writing of it and indeed the having of it. So when an erotic novel takes the world by storm, well: we want a piece of the action. Hell, we’ve been wanting a piece of the action since 1995, and Belinda Blinked; 1 A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels.does the job very nicely indeed. Welcome to the Steeles Pots and Pans industry, where women always come first, and where a humble charity tombola can end in a horsebox.

Are you Hygge?

by Jo Cranford / 14th October 2016

As a topic, Hygge has been trending for some while. With several books on the market I wondered: had we not reached peak Hygge?

The Irritatingly Erotic Adventures of Charles McBride

by Tara Smyth / 11th October 2016

Recently divorced (thank god), Charles is now a richer, possibly fatter – and certainly happier – man overall. His journey back to this childhood holiday destination promises to be a relaxing few days for him to clear his mind, while enjoying his favourite food and drinks, sitting in his favourite bars and restaurants and indulging in his favourite haunts, without that stupid bitch around to burden him as she had done for the past two decades.

Mount!

by Zoë Apostolides / 30th September 2016

It’s been 31 years since the publication of Riders, Jilly Cooper’s first novel in the infamous Rutshire Chronicles and one which, before the age of backed-up hard drives, was very nearly lost forever. It was 1970, and the number 22 bus was about to become the final resting place of the bestselling novel’s first draft and only copy. Mount!, published earlier this month, gives the occasional flirty nod to new millennial readers: Rupert Campbell-Black (a sort of sex-crazed Uncle Matthew from The Pursuit of Love) is back, he’s 59 and he has an iPhone. There’s a website called Skypegoat, a gorilla onesie and a horse called Trans Jennifer in this latest offering, but don’t be fooled: the throbbing heart of Cooper’s earlier works beats as lustily as the wagging tail of Banquo the black lab.

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Articles

DOWN AT THE OLD DOOM BAR: POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE 27

by Bruce Abrahams / 20th December 2016

It’s a funny time of year. Somehow the absence of visitors makes the landscape quieter. In the season it is as if the hum of their activities transmits even at night to the moors. Down at the Old Doom Bar we regulars retreat to the snug in small numbers and the landlord or his wife sometimes join us, though willing to knock out scampi and chips if we fancy them. The women are less in evidence. This is because they are busy with seasonal preparations. As well as list-making, baking and provision planning these include two day excursions to favoured shopping centres such as Bath which is a smart city with spas and high end hairdressers.

The new authoritarianism

by Ian Dunt / 29th November 2016

There’s something rotten in the West. In the UK, the rabid anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Brexit campaign translated into a vote to leave the EU. In the US, a lunatic sociopath won the presidency on the back of a racialised political programme, Biblical levels of misogyny and a constant, almost cult-like worship of aggression and rudeness.

JOYCE MANSOUR: FIVE POEMS TRANSLATED

by Carol Martin-Sperry / 12th November 2016

There is nothing like Joyce Mansour’s poetry. It expresses the erotic yet cruel power of love and desire. The poems are stark and painful, with an almost frightening and obsessive streak of sado-masochism. The consuming madness of sex and death are fiercely and passionately described with shocking and violent imagery, yet there is often a moving sensitivity in her work. Her vocabulary is precise, every word counts, these poems are bare and spare.

DOWN AT THE OLD DOOM BAR: POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE 26

by Bruce Abrahams / 1st November 2016

Sex is not often discussed in any direct way in our group. It arose though because one occasional member with literary pretensions happened to have been to the Cheltenham Festival. She (and it could only have been a ‘she’) drew to our attention to a suggestion by Jenni Murray of BBC’s Woman’s Hour during an address there, that schools should have porn lessons. That is, opportunities to review and critically analyse pornography and its underlying messages.

An Interview with Jodi Ellen Malpas

by Zoë Apostolides / 14th September 2016

I had a friend tell me about her erotic novel recently, a heavily horse-themed saga she’s been writing on and off  for years and, running as it currently does to some 80,000 words, is nigh-on ready to reach the audience it deserves. I’m surprised when she says fervently that no living soul will ever clap eyes on the thing, and that it’ll lie on her hard drive as innocently as a copy of the Racing Post for time immemorial. She’s not embarrassed by it: far from, but it’s personal. My meeting with Jodi Ellen Malpas in a Soho hotel reminded me of this, if only because the New York Times-bestselling author began her career doing just the same thing: writing in secret, without expecting that her work would one day be read by millions.

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Fiction

Shanghai

by Ortensia Visconti / 10th January 2017

I was born on 9th September 1966. My mother cut the placenta off me and said "You're the fatal blow at the arse end of the revolution." Mao Tse Tung had died an hour ago. I was missing my left eardrum. When I turned three, my father died too and the "one-child" policy came into force; suddenly, there were no brothers or sisters around, we were little emperors to be maintained and my mother said "If you were later, I would have aborted you for a boy." She wanted a man to help her and instead she had me; so the number of little boys started to grow, twenty three million of them, with no hope of a woman, future sexual orphans, the fruit of Deng's policy and Chinese copulation

INSTINCT

by Malachi O'Doherty / 4th December 2016

When the Chancellor of the Diocese visited the Convent of the Sisters of Holy Affliction, Sister Michael always received him with a kiss on the lips. That was the closest Fr Tom got to enjoying a woman. He relished that kiss, even as he winced at the austerity of the place, imagining those who, over the years, had cut themselves off from family and comfort here.

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Galleries

AN UNRELIABLE HISTORY OF TATTOOS | PAUL THOMAS

20th April 2016

It's the perfect gift for anyone into any of the following: tattoos, satire, make-believe, colour, illustration, poking fun at celebrities, poking fun at royals, poking fun at history, beautifully presented books, life, love, wit, humour, fun. Oh you don't know anyone who likes any of those things? Pity.

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Videos

ORGASMATRON

by / 10th December 2016

'What can MRI scans of brains in orgasm tell us? Past editrice of the Erotic Review Rowan Pelling reveals how the science of la petite mort might might hold the key to abolishing pain. This debate is brought to you by the Institute of Art and Ideas, home to cutting-edge philosophy and ideas from the world’s leading thinkers."

Videos

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