Erotic Review Magazine

BADLY BEHAVED? YOU BETCHA.

by Kate Copstick / 24th May 2016

“There is a problem for kids who have grown up with online porn on tap. Girls think that it's OK to be treated like that and boys think thats how they have to behave.” We suck the froth off our second pint. “There is a really high level of erectile dysfunction in boys under the age of 20” she informs me. “A friend of mine he spent some time with a couple of girls – they were under 20 and he was 30 – and they were really surprised because when they unzipped him he was ready to go and they'd never experienced that.”

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“The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation… but I hear that it’s coming quickly. ” - Mel Brooks

News

THE BLUE ROOM

29th February 2016

The Blue Room is a dark comedy adapted from Arthur Schnitzler’s Reigen. It follows the changing identities of ten individuals laced together in a series of affairs. As they discover their sexual identities and battle their desires, their social statuses change beyond recognition. Schnitzler, who was held in high regard by Sigmund Freud, became a writer after having studied medicine in his home land Austria in the late 1800's. This was a time in which social class drew a line between people that simply could not be crossed. Ironically, however, this was a time in which a quarter of men of the higher classes were regular patrons of brothels. While studying medicine, Schnitzler discovered that syphilis did not adhere to the hierarchy of social class and was spreading like wildfire. When Reigen was finally first publicly performed in 1920 in Berlin, Schnitzler received violent reviews and was reviled as a pornographer. Naturally, the French adored it, adapting it as La Ronde for film as well as stage, alongside several other adaptations later on under different names, following a period in which Reigen temporarily fell out of copyright. David Hare's adaptation brings an edge to the classic tale, introducing new contemporary characters. THEATRE HOUSE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS DAVID HARE'S THE BLUE ROOM FROM THURSDAY 10 MARCH IN MAIDENHEAD

Don't play with your food

26th February 2016

A man in on trial in Germany for negligent homicide after accidentally suffocating Rica Varna, 46, with a cucumber. Oliver Dietmann, 46 could be imprisoned for five years if found guilty. A verdict is due today.

If you had a shitty VDE (Valentine's Day Experience)…

20th February 2016

OK, it’s about time to talk about Valentine Fails. We’ve all had a few. No cards, no flowers, no chocs, no sex. Either someone has let us down or it’s just one of those dry years. So how to remedy? Why not go the Reverse Pygmalion route? In case you’d forgotten, Pygmalion was the Greek sculptor who fell in love with an ivory statue he'd carved of his perfect woman. Venus took pity on him and caused the statue to become flesh and blood.  The ER Review Team was intrigued when we were sent a review sample of Sculpt Your Own Boyfriend. So we set about creating him (we were tempted to create 'her', but we resisted). The little booklet that comes with the boxed kit had various types of BF, which we thought was cool. There was the Fiancé BF, with a ring from Tiffany. Punk BF, with a spiky Mohican. And French BF, with a beret, a moustache and sang froid. All of them had buggy, exophthalmic eyes like Homer Simpson, which we decided to tone down in our version: Falling-Down-Drunk BF Who's Been In A Bit Of A Fight, making them simply bleary instead. Here he is:   and here's where to get him for £9.95: prezzybox.com   

Goodbye Ed, hello Ed

15th February 2016

After nine years of unrelenting erotic excitement and adventure, Jamie Maclean is stepping down as editor of the Erotic Review and joining Lisa Moylett as the magazine’s co-publisher and partner in the literary agency, Coombs Moylett Maclean. As founding editor he is delighted to pass the reins to Florence Walker who is not only young and beautiful, but wise and fearless too. Florence is already our film editor and has written extensively for ER; she is also ‘resident anthropologist’ for British GQ online. We're delighted that Florence has found a home with us. We welcome her to the Coombs Moylett Maclean family and look forward to seeing the Erotic Review come of age under her in its 21st year.

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Fiction

Oh It's Bad

by Singer Joy / 11th April 2016

She and I have never had sex. Well, I mean, we’ve done some things. Fondled, sort of. But like I said, she treads lightly. I try to tread lightly too. We’ve talked about it though. I can’t help but talk about it every now and again. And she doesn’t seem squeamish, which I appreciate. It’s almost like she wants to have all the information before she makes the purchase. Like she’s signing a lease on me or something.

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Galleries

AN UNRELIABLE HISTORY OF TATTOOS | PAUL THOMAS

20th April 2016

It's the perfect gift for anyone into any of the following: tattoos, satire, make-believe, colour, illustration, poking fun at celebrities, poking fun at royals, poking fun at history, beautifully presented books, life, love, wit, humour, fun. Oh you don't know anyone who likes any of those things? Pity.

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Podcasts

Because She's Got Breasts

by / 5th September 2013

After a few months at Erotic Towers, Tati is leaving her post as editorial assistant to chase boys in the South of France. Parting is such sweet sorrow: let us sweeten it a little more with a charming song about her breasts. Ladies, this one is for you.

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Articles

Fetish and Love

by Nadine Summers / 19th May 2016

Love is a many splendid thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love - right? But what about sex? What if love and sex don’t combine, but instead you are left with someone you love, or someone you want to have sex with, but not a combination of the two?

THE OLD DOOM BAR | POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE – 23

by Bruce Abrahams / 18th May 2016

Elections have figured recently on our agenda in the Old Doom Bar. The most significant being that of Ukraine being voted top Eurovision nation in a clearly politically inspired coup against Russia. No-one could work out why joint hot tip Australia was in the contest until it was suggested that their population was full of former Yugoslavs. This turns out not to be true so it must be in a vain effort to bolster the meagre European pro- UK vote from the Anglophone diaspora that predominates in the Antipodes.

BURLESQUE LEGENDS | MISS POLLY RAE

by Kate Copstick / 17th May 2016

We meet at Cafe Zedel. It is sparkling, bubbling with conversation and really rather lovely. When she makes her entrance, Polly is equally sparkling, bubbling and really rather lovely. And so is the champagne she orders. This is exactly how it should be when one meets Burlesque Royalty. Miss Polly Rae is pretty perfect : a Rita Hayworth redhead, flawless skin, carmine Cupid's bow, matching nails and dark eyes dancing behind the raven's wings of her lashes like twin Fan Dancers. I say 'her' lashes' but they are not. And – disappointingly for my fantasies of the Burlesque Life – she does not always look like this. She is on her way back from a photo shoot.

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS

by Nadine Summers / 9th May 2016

Our new reporter from the field, Nadine Summers, might have been in High School the last time she picked up a 3B pencil, but nabbing a place at a sex worker life drawing class was enough to get the creative juices flowing again.

The Hottest Moments in Shakespeare

by Christine Fears / 23rd April 2016

Now will he sit under a medlar tree, and wish his mistress were that kind of fruit as maids call medlars, when they laugh alone. Romeo, that she were, O, that she were an open-arse, thou a poperin pear!

EXHIBITONS | Undressed: A Brief History of Underwear at the V&A

by Daisy Bata / 15th April 2016

The V&A is showing the largest ever collection of underwear to go on display, and has acquired over 60 new individual pieces for it’s permanent collection. Taking us on a lightning tour through the history of the role and function of the undergarment and indeed underwear as outerwear, we are treated to rare pieces such as a maternity breast feeding bra-let and the first pair of male “enhancing” briefs from Marks & Spencer.

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Reviews

REVIEW | CROOKS

by Zoë Apostolides / 29th April 2016

Within moments of arriving outside the closed shutters on a quiet Borough backstreet we’re approached by men – they want the password, and once we’ve given it we’re in. It’s an old carpet factory, perfect for the sense of claustrophobia and dark dealings that CROOKS aims to create. The atmosphere is charged; the old lift creaks and clanks as we go down. There’s door upon door leading who knows where (if we go snooping, we’re told, they’ll f*cking kill us, so I resist the urge). We’re split into teams and throughout the next 90 minutes we’re tasked with extracting information from a bent rozzer, swapping two heavy, powdery briefcases over, playing a hand of Blackjack with the Don, scheming with his fur-coated wife and then slipping a vial of poison into a lurking glass of whiskey. It’s great entertainment, even if the pauses between each “scene” are a little drawn out in the dark, thumping downstairs saloon.

Six Brilliant Years

by Jamie Maclean / 27th April 2016

We know Beardsley as the poster boy for Naughty Ninety’s decadence: he was by far the most controversial exponent of Art Nouveau; apart from Henry Fuseli, virtually the only nineteenth century British erotic artist of any real importance (his Lysistrata was privately published); he lost his job as art editor at The Yellow Book essentially because of his association with Oscar Wilde.

THE REALM OF SHUNGA | PETERSHAM ROAD

by Florence Walker / 21st April 2016

The guide asked me if I was into "Shibari". What? Japanese fabric dying? For a moment I envisioned a W.I. instructor coming showing us how to make a beautiful table-cloths on the cheap. No, no, that's shibori. Shibari or, kinbaku if you're caught out by vowels as I so often am, is a Japanese erotic art form which involves tying girls up in rope. Well yes, actually, that sounds like just my sort of thing.

FILM | LOOK AT THE PICTURES

by Florence Walker / 6th April 2016

Robert Mapplethorpe and I have something in common: as children we both loved chewing our toenails. Fortunately, Mapplethorpe also loved drawing. He became an artistic sensation, turning photography into an art form as it had never been before. I doubt I’ll ever make a career out of chewing my toenails.

EXHIBITIONS | ALLEN JONES

by Alice Frances / 7th March 2016

Allen Jones does not allow us to objectify her body and what she represents. Each image realises her as an individual person. The maîtresse may represent your utmost fantasies and she may wear a mask of sorts, but she is also a strong and a highly accessible representation of a sexually powerful female figure.

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Heart Killer is Nowicki’s fifth novel, with close thematic links to his controversial 2011 novella, The Columbine Pilgrim

eBook price: £4.30

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