Erotic Review Magazine

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by Alex Franco / 29th June 2017

David didn’t really want to fuck him. Not that he wasn’t hot—one would go so far as to call him objectively and conventionally attractive. He seemed nice enough, polite if not charming. He’d opened the conversation with a friendly though tired one-liner, and had yet to send an unsolicited dick pic. And, if Grindr was to be trusted, he was only a ten minute walk away...

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Bridge of Dread

by James Como / 23rd June 2017

These faculty committees were of a piece: business (so-called), people, little speeches, gossip, results: none. Hours murdered, and neurons. Fenshaw did nothing but think of his office; who would be waiting. Mary Ellen, no bra, no panties, slight skirt, plush lips, and the will and skill to use the whole kit for his pleasure. She was short, voluptuous, twenty years old, and a junior, which meant she’d be around for another year. And she wanted nothing in return. Sure, she expected pleasure of her own, but such was her ferocious response to his ministrations that her pleasuring became his as well.

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Afternoons in Hermannstadt

by Katherine Mezzacappa / 5th June 2017

‘The shot blew out the lock and caught Herr Oberth in the bum before he had time to get his head out.’ ‘Get his head out from where, Fraulein?’ ‘From between Frau Hentner’s legs, sir.’ The younger of the two policemen flushed and looked up at the emperor’s portrait for reassurance; he could have sworn the old walrus raised his eyebrows. He heard Hauptmeister Brukenthal say, ‘This is a serious investigation, Fraulein Nicolescu. There were only three people in that room and you were not one of them.’

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The Promised Land

by Rowena Macdonald / 8th May 2017

Rosewater, saffron, almonds and milk – the recipe sounded like the Song of Solomon. It sounded exactly what Patrick, with his seductively angst-ridden Catholicism would adore. As Katy only had the milk she would have to go out and buy the dozen other fragrant items the curry required. It would be an offering to Patrick, an offering of love. She liked shopping for spices. Cardamom, cinnamon, coriander, frankincense and cloves, nutmeg, mint, bay leaves and myrrh, turmeric, garam masala, gold...Spices were the precious stones of the food world. Poor man’s diamonds. The saffron came in a tiny plastic box engraved with gold curlicues like a jewel case. It cost £1.75. Katy liked the idea of a luxury that cost less than two pounds. The grocery round the corner had everything she needed. Carrying it all to the checkout, she buried her nose in the coriander and mint and sighed over their green scent. The man behind the counter, eyes glued to a Turkish soap opera on the TV in the corner, glanced at her and smiled. “Good?” “Good.”

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Twits and Twitter

by Malachi O'Doherty / 27th April 2017

‘What the fuck did he say?’ The Dean was used to speaking plainly to the Communications Director. ‘He said, The Min Ed wouldn’t know a rational argument if it knelt down in front of him and sucked him off.’ ‘And who all knows about this?’ ‘A reporter on the Traffic saw it. About 2,000 followers, ten of whom have already retweeted it.’ ‘And is the Traffic going to run something?’ ‘Looks like it. We could brief them off the record’, he suggested, ‘that the University has internal disciplinary proceedings. We’ll have to take time to see if they apply in this case. Or we could tell them to fuck off. And if they drag us into this their free pass to the graduation ceremony will get lost in the post.’ ‘What about the wee cunt himself?’

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The Annunciation

by Louise Murray / 7th April 2017

Joseph could not touch one so young. She was a child, a daughter. Wedding her, he was almost ashamed – an old man with grey in his beard and she a dark-crowned girl. Yet he trusted God, and he knew that to be ashamed would be a dishonour upon Him.

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Andromeda Unbound

by Katherine Mezzacappa / 19th March 2017

‘Mr. Mannheimer had to go and get the stepladder to tie my hands to the beam. He used rope because he said he didn’t have any chains, but that I was to try to imagine that’s what they were seeing as that’s what he’d paint. He said he’d just tie me loosely but I said no thanks, if I have to hold my arms up myself I’d be worn out in no time so please to tie me up proper so I can hang from the chains and not pretend. Afterwards he got down and off my plinth and looked at me tied up there. I liked it when he did that, better than when he’s looking at me from behind his easel. Then he frowns and says, “Please not to shave under the arms again.” Then he says: “You are a dromedary.”’

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Domino - A Memoir of Venice

by Katherine Mezzacappa / 16th February 2017

‘And your name?’ ‘Ippolita.’ That name is as good as any other – it is not hers.  She does not ask mine and I do not offer it.  Her voice is young – low and sweet.  By the smooth whiteness of her hand I would judge her to be about 25 years old; the black lace of her domino conceals her neck and bosom, the flesh of which I have found is the most reliable in estimating a woman’s age.  I raise her fingers to my lips and keep them there long enough that she may feel not just my kiss but my breath upon her skin.  I lift her other hand then and kiss the palm, and note the ring she wears – la fede it is called here: faith.  I wonder if her husband is present at this levée, if he watches us now, if they have arranged it so.  I cannot say what colour are the eyes glittering behind the mask, for by candle-light we all have eyes like onyx marbles.  She may be a whore, a lady, an initiate.  With the mask all distinctions are erased.

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That Old School Skirt, or, Payback’s a Bitch

by James Como / 2nd February 2017

The first incident happened a couple of months into the year.  Nina, of all people, approached him after class and said, “tu eres el hombre mas apetecible del mundo.”  In other words, that he was “appetizing,” in fact the most appetizing man “in the world.”  Like certain fruits.  Edward was speechless.  As he blushed, Nina smiled, unwrapped her skirt, slowly turned, and walked away.  She was wearing gym shorts.  All the girls were in their shorts: it was gym period.  But when she turned her head to look back, no longer smiling but with her eyes very wide open and lips parted, Edward was . . . stirred.

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Things that we pretended

by Rob Palk / 22nd January 2017

In the year we spent together, we pretended every night. We needed them, our fictions, in order to proceed. Wrapped in our inventions we were safe and free, without the distractions of fact. Last night I tried to list them all, the things we would pretend. We pretended I was a robot, new and neatly packaged, sent to him in error. His puzzlement in unwrapping transforming into thrill. The depth of my satisfaction in completing my programmed task. I pulled a face while doing this, a robot face. If he ever caught me doing this he would laugh and have to stop.

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