What’s going on in America is herd mentality, a ‘You’re either with us or against us’ attitude that leaves no room for dissent and paints equivocation as a lack of support. I support women who have been abused and traumatized. I support men who have been falsely accused. I hate it that politics and justice are being sullied by the kangaroo court of public opinion.
Outrage begets outrage, and as the list of male abusers continues to grow, it almost feels irresponsible, as a woman, not to join in on the shaming. I don’t want to go there. I want to listen to what men have to say. If I think they’re full of shit, I’ll tell them nicely. But until a person feels heard, we can’t possibly expect to understand their story.
When we’re big into someone, our frontal lobe essentially shuts down. We’re incapable of seeing that person’s faults early on and we’re so high on the ‘rightness’ of our bond that we’re convinced we’ll easily avoid the troubles of lesser human partnerships. But we’ve got to wipe that haze from our brains and read this book before we sign a marriage certificate.
When considering the relationship choices we now tolerate in the 21st century - homosexuality, bisexuality and trans-gendered identities - it’s clear that love comes in as many different varieties as spaghetti sauce; we just need to become more familiar with their unique ingredients.
The other day in my Twitter feed there was news that Missouri researcher Alicia Walker, PhD was calling for men to send her photos of their penises. Sadly, a few days later, she shut down the study because of public backlash and hate mail. Sigh... Only in America would this topic cause indignation.
Interviewing a liar might be the most fruitless thing I’ve ever done, so I don’t quite know how accurate data regarding deception is, since my liar was as charmingly cagey about his lying as he had been about his previous ‘truths’.
Compersion is the opposite of jealousy or envy; jealousy being the fear of losing something (or someone) we believe is our own and envy being the pain of not having what one wants. These are both deep-seated evolutionary emotions that have more to do with our fear of not getting enough to eat or being able to procreate with the hottest caveman on the block. Getting over these Neanderthal inclinations is a state of evolution in itself.
Virtual Reality Sex isn’t so much the future as it is the now, with the estimated allure and revenue of VR sex predicted to be eclipsed only by video games and the American NFL.
The things that propel us to seek out sex, desire and arousal, are funny partners. As we age, they don’t seem to visit so often, and not always in the same order.
But let’s agree, at some point over the years of a long-term relationship, we will very likely become attracted to someone else. We might become besotted, obsessed or flirty. Our mouths may go dry at the sight of a forbidden crush. Some would say this is micro-cheating and you should feel bad. I call bullshit. This is normal. What we do with it is what counts.