Press Release of the Week: Wireless Armour
It makes you proud to be British. Or, as Nicola Sturgeon would possibly have it, English. UK boffin Joseph Perkins has invented a pair of underpants that will protect a chap’s personal sperm bank from the reproductive equivalent of a Black Wednesday crash.
Seems that carrying your mobile close to your lunchpack (as in your chinos pocket) could wreck your chances of parenthood. Although this writer sees that as some sort of natural, Darwinian counterbalance, Perkins thinks that his silver mesh, form-hugging boxer briefs will save the world’s population from inevitable and drastic decline. His ultimate undies will shield your testicles from all that nasty electromagnetic radiation that decimates sperm motility and renders the little fellows unable to do their job.
So what’s not to like? Well, Sir Richard Branson (VirginMan) has described the invention as ‘underpants for superheroes’. But if that doesn’t put you off, then you can buy them at www.wirelessarmour.co.uk for £24 to £35. (see illustration; dramatic bulge not guaranteed).