If you had a shitty VDE (Valentine's Day Experience)…
OK, it’s about time to talk about Valentine Fails.
We’ve all had a few. No cards, no flowers, no chocs, no sex. Either someone has let us down or it’s just one of those dry years.
So how to remedy?
Why not go the Reverse Pygmalion route? In case you’d forgotten, Pygmalion was the Greek sculptor who fell in love with an ivory statue he’d carved of his perfect woman. Venus took pity on him and caused the statue to become flesh and blood. The ER Review Team was intrigued when we were sent a review sample of Sculpt Your Own Boyfriend. So we set about creating him (we were tempted to create ‘her’, but we resisted). The little booklet that comes with the boxed kit had various types of BF, which we thought was cool. There was the Fiancé BF, with a ring from Tiffany. Punk BF, with a spiky Mohican. And French BF, with a beret, a moustache and sang froid. All of them had buggy, exophthalmic eyes like Homer Simpson, which we decided to tone down in our version: Falling-Down-Drunk BF Who’s Been In A Bit Of A Fight, making them simply bleary instead. Here he is:
and here’s where to get him for £9.95: prezzybox.com