It’s a cold, crisp Friday night. Hordes of people swarm the streets of London, wrapped in woollen scarves and thick coats. But in a discreet corner, on a dimly lit road, is a sweaty cocoon of sex, booze and wealth. Behind a set of glass doors, down a sticky dark staircase, I’m standing at a bar in a black lace mask, thigh high black suede boots and nothing else. I’m over dressed.
George Osborne just used the Budget to scrap sex education. Without anyone really noticing, George Osborne appears to have scrapped compulsory sex education in schools.
Even as great lovers of the written word, we have to admit that when it comes to sex, visual aids are a greta help. So we joined Instagram and started sharing some of the beautiful illustrations and covers we've published over the years. Despite Instagram's need to stay squeeky-clean to stay as an app available for download on the Apple Store (the real reason why Instagram gets skittish over nipples) it gushes sex. Here are our favourite sex-obsessed Instagrammers... is it cheeky to include our own account?
FROM THE ARCHIVE | Vital statistics: size means everything in lexicography. If I request my database to deliver up those terms which, out of the 1500 that slang has amassed for fucking and the 2500 that are available to mean 'drunk', I find that it offers me 72 overlaps. These are not invariably homonyms, in many cases, it is a matter of disparate phrases stemming from a common root, but the material remains.
Although the magazine will still feature cartoons, interviews and opinion pieces, the naked women are gone, replaced by tantalisingly almost nude women in the print magazine, but with nude shots still available if you buy an online subscription. Is it just a clever marketing tool to grab the attention of a readership that dropped from a high of 7,000,000 to a low of only 800,000? Or will tactfully covering up the naughty bits, and bringing Playboy down to the middle shelves alongside GQ and Esquire, erase the rampantly misogynist image Playboy has garnered?
It's time to down newspapers and get another round in with Bruce Abrahams. Spring might look like it's on its way but don't let the warm weather fool you into thinking it'll be plain sailing. This week the boys are shaking their heads over Brexit, Rotherham, the Adam Johnson Trial and Tony Blackburn.
“Have you ever experienced a carbon fibre riding crop?” a velvety voice whispers in my ear. I take a drag on my cigarette and raise my eyebrow, acting coy. “Sounds painful.” Being subversive is the essence of being cool which explains why once-only-whispered-about clubs like Torture Garden are increasingly popular. So popular, in fact, that regular revellers are finding it difficult to separate the tourists from the fetishists. Our reporter from the edge chronicles the invasion of the hipster onto the scene.
Earlier this month the prime minister personally intervened to block a bid to make sex education compulsory across all schools. According to current law, it’s compulsory in state-run secondary schools, but not primary schools, academies or free schools. He did so against the will of the women around the Cabinet table, including education secretary Nicky Morgan, home secretary Theresa May, international development secretary Justine Greening and business minister Anna Soubry.
After the 50 Shades of Grey fiasco and the Tinder Apocalypse, the worlds of dating and fetish have become weirdly linked in the mainstream by people who have no idea about either. Along with a white picket fence, it’s now common to desire the occasional spank over the kitchen sink. But when it comes to real fetishes, how are young people meant to navigate dick pics and pansexual relationships while catering to the deepest and darkest desires they have chosen to indulge?
To send or not to send a dick pic? When this particular question is directed at viral content producer Lucy Baker the answer is an unequivocal “No”. Her song, “Don’t send girls pictures of your penis” has been viewed over 89,000 views on The Tab Durham’s Facebook feed. The adult subject matter of the song is juxtaposed with Lucy’s sweetly angelic vocal cords to make it ever more side-splitting. The Erotic Review harassed Miss Baker on what (or who?) moved her to pen (th)is catchy tune.